heavy hearted

the only time i wish i wasn't living overseas is when there's a sad turn of events back home. i can handle being here for birthdays, parties, celebrations and fun kinds of events much more easily than the difficult times. there's always a trade off, ya know? yes, it's hard to miss the good times and see friends and to watch their kids grow, but it's when one of them is suffering that i feel the biggest yearning to be stateside. perhaps this is because of my own loss and knowing what that feels like, but to me, during hardships is when you learn the most about yourself and it's when people get real. my close friend kim's father just passed away and i found out from a generic mass email. if i was home, i would have been there and i don't like the fact that i'm not...  my parents were both fairly young when they died, and i was the first of most of my friends to be orphaned, but now the rest of my friends' parents are starting to slowly go and it's a devestating time when that happens... several other friends have lost parents during my time in nepal and there's such a disconnect due to the time difference and distance. if this would have happened this time next month, when i'm out of school, i would seriously consider going home. i just can't though, now with the end of the school year upon me. i guess you take the good with the bad, but today i feel like being in kathmandu is NOT "what i really, really wanna do..." please say a prayer for my friend kim, her mom and her family...all my love, buddy! i'm with you in spirit. XOXO, j